Karen Answers Ross

Comment by Ross on July 15, 2008 12:58 am

Tell me to what extent you feel the depiction of your husband was real and how much was Dr. Baer’s interpretation of your revelations. At times it seemed as if he was a “monster” who caused some of the problems you encountered. Was his drinking a cause of the problems or a reaction to them?

Dear Ross,

Dr. Baer did not misinterpret my revelations. Dr. Baer only wrote from what I shared with him; he wrote from seeing my visible bruises in person, he wrote from experiencing my distressed phone calls, sometimes during an attack, and from the police records. Dr. Baer listened and never added to what I experienced through my daily life living with an alcoholic. My husband was not the original cause of my dissociative disorder. I had been abused as a child which led me to live and choose an abusive, dysfunctional lifestyle as an adult.

Once, I shared my memories of childhood abuse with my husband during my hospitalization for depression. I had hoped for his understanding, but instead he used what happened against me. Every day he reminded me that my father abused me. This created more alter chaos and suicidal thoughts within me. He would ask, “Why did you let them abuse you?” I never could answer-how could I? My husband fell out of love with me at this time and our marriage was never the same. I can’t exactly say my husband was a “monster” because I never saw him that way. But I can say, after hearing of my being a victim of child abuse, he no longer seemed to respect me or treat me like a woman.

Karen

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