Karen Answers John

Comment by John on July 28, 2008 12:05 pm

Hello Karen,

I never thought I’d ever read a book like yours, it was sitting there, my girlfriend was reading it and was absorbed by it. For days I watched her cry, laugh and exhaust herself with this book. I didn’t know what to say to her. I never seen her so emotional and had to read it too. I had to know what put her through such sorrow. How unselfish of you to tell your story. Thank you for letting Dr. Baer write this book. I never told anyone I also sometimes, experience suicidal thoughts. Your story was an awakening to another part of me that I was too ashamed to deal with. I started therapy three weeks ago, thanks to this book. My quesions to you are. Do you still feel suicidal when life hurts you? If you still do, what do you do now that you don’t have Dr. Baer or alter help? If these questions are too hard to answer, it’s okay not to. Thanks.

Dear John,

Thank you for being brave enough to ask this difficult question. And thank you for caring enough about your girlfriend’s feelings to pick up the book she was reading and read it for yourself. This shows that you indeed care about her and want to understand where she was coming from. I admire this in you. I am also glad to hear you recognized the need to seek help for yourself and started therapy. I wish you well.

To answer your questions regarding suicide. Yes, I do have thoughts of suicide, rarely, but once in a while. It’s inevitable after all I’ve been through. However, my thoughts have matured over time, and I have learned how to manage these thoughts the best I can. It’s hard work. I won’t lie. It takes time to learn the reasons behind these thoughts, come to understand them, and learn to accept them and deal with them. Please be patient in your own journey. I’ve learned in therapy from Dr. Baer that, “Thoughts are okay; actions are not.” Life does hurt at times. I survive by focusing on the immediate issue at hand that causes these hurtful feelings, talked it through, and ask for help when needed. Since all of my alters are now integrated within me, and I am one, all of their individual strengths and weaknessness are now a part of me. I have more strength than not. And when I feel weak, I know who to call for help.



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