Karen Answers Marius

Comment by Marius on July 30, 2008 10:07 pm


I can act, and I am good at it. I read your book when it came out last April, was bored with my life, had time and coverage, needed someone to listen, and for entertainment decided to become a DID patient. It was fun for a bit, and lo and behold my therapist actually bought my act and diagnosed me with the disorder. I am disappointed. I thought shrinks were smart. My interest passed but my therapist is excited and this continues to amuze me. I have a problem. I feel guilty leading him on like this. I want to stop now. What would you do if you were me?

Dear Marius,

I’m not sure why you thought going to a therapist and pretending to have MPD/DID could be fun? Let me assure you, being a multiple is no fun. Sharing horrific memories of abuse and grief is not fun. Sure there may be funny moments, but living without knowing who you are isn’t fun. My days weren’t easy. I spent most of my time feeling suicidal, not knowing what I’d done, where I’d gone, and worrying about whether or not I’d done something terrible. I always felt sad and alone. My whole life was affected.

The therapeutic relationship Dr. Baer and I shared was built on respect, honesty and trust. Respecting your therapist, who is working to help you, and respecting yourself, is an important part of the therapeutic relationship. I’m not a therapist, but I would think you started therapy for a different reason than the one you told yourself, and not because you read my story and thought my condition would be entertaining.

If I were you, as you asked, I would come clean and tell your therapist you lied for attention. Then both of you could work together and get to the root of why you felt the need to do this in the first place. Another option is to start over with a new therapist, and being honest. Psychiatrists, psychotherapists, and other mental health workers are there to help you, if you wish to help yourself. It’s never too late to make things right. Please do. And try not to be ashamed of your true thoughts and feelings.

Take care of yourself.



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