Karen Answers Dennis’ Second Question

Comment by Dennis on August 14, 2008 10:41 am

Karen,

Your answer wasn’t exactly satisfactory. I grew up in Chicago during the sixties and witnessed many perverted conversations by the elderly men in the neighborhood. They were all talk. I still find it unbelievable that men who talked perverted can actually abuse children. I would compare it to role play, not abuse. The men in Karen’s life probably tried to act tough with their friends, real abusers were silent back then. I also can’t see why Irena says children are the responsibility of all adults. If a child is not yours it’s no one’s business to say anything. I moved from Chicago 26 years ago and never been back and was not abused. If these men actually abused Karen why didn’t they kill her after they abused her?

Dennis

Dear Dennis,

Did you know, according to the State of Illinois Web site, there are 279 registered sex offenders in Chicago alone? Child molesters and abusers can live anywhere. That’s why it is the responsibilty of all adults to keep a close eye on something out of the ordinary and report any suspicions. As I asked before, what prevents those who talk in perverted ways not to act in secret? The men who abused me were a small group of insecure, sick men who somehow found each other and had no respect for women or children.

Although I am not a therapist, I believe my story has hit a nerve within you that has stirred up some ill feelings, possibly guilt, from witnessing the inappropriate conversations you overheard as a child. Please talk to a therapist about these thoughts.

Regarding your question on why my abusers didn’t kill me. Somehow, because of my early illnesses, they thought I wouldn’t survive childhood. That and I forced myself to be compliant and seemed not to remember. Otherwise, I believed they really would have killed me. Being a child of abuse, time and again, left me with no other choices. I thank God everyday for giving me the gift of dissociation, a coping mechanism beyond comprehension.

I hope you come to a better understanding of how child abuse can destroy a child’s spirit for life. The after-effects from abuse are disabling and life long. With help, the pain lessens but never totally disappears. I continue to do the best I can to keep moving forward.

Karen

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