Karen Answers Lynne

Comment by Lynne on September 10, 2008 5:56 pm
Dear Karen,

Congrats! Switching Time in paperback! I hope you sell a million copies. The book was by far, one of the most fascinating books I’ve ever read. Good Luck to you and your doctor! I bet this story reaches all women around the world who suffered at the hands of an abuser.

I would like to know more about you and for now, more about how you felt during the time spent before you sought help? In the book you said you pretended to be you so no one would notice any changes, how did your family members not know you were not the same and how did you explain yourself? Your mind fascinates me. I would love more detail.

Great Book! Utterly Amazing!

Lynne

Dear Lynne,

Dr. Baer and I hope to sell a million copies, too! Thank you so much for all your compliments, each compliment received inspires me to continue answering questions and lets me know that my story is reaching many women around the world.

It’s been so long since I thought about how I felt before I sought help. I knew something was horribly wrong with my memory after my daughter’s birth, yet I knew, from somewhere inside me, that I should keep quiet about it. I’m not sure how I knew; I just did. The part that came out in the hospital hadn’t been out in a long time and was very out of touch. After the birth of my daughter by cesarean section, I fought hard to recall who I was, where I was, and what had happened to me. I was afraid to share this information for fear I would be called insane and be institutionalized. I started observing everyone who visited me during my time in the hospital, and I learned quite a bit about who I was. Later, it really helped to gaze through the many photo albums I had from before my daughters birth. These albums were very detailed and provided enough info for me to be able to become the woman in the pictures, at least for the time being.

The reason why no one noticed any changes in me, is mainly because I had complications, was physically very ill, on medication, and healing from the cesarean section and two lung surgeries. Most assumed the reason for my disconnectedness was because of the pain they assumed I experienced from surgery. Little did they know that my pain was dissociated and I had to pretend the pain was real and present. Being ill and in the hospital for several weeks protected me from anyone finding out I wasn’t me. This pretending to be what others expected was how I survived my entire life.

Thank you for your questions and your interest in knowing more about how I survived.

Karen

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