Karen Answers Brice’s Second Question

Comment by Brice on September 7, 2008 7:33 pm
Dear Karen,

Wow! In return, I thoroughly appreciate your honesty and frankness in answering my questions. I had to know? You see, if I were you I would’ve killed those bastards. I am still dumbfounded that anyone, not just you, could survive something so horrific. How you didn’t become a drug addict, murderer or misfit in society is somewhat of a shock to me. Don’t you agree? Most people who suffer from past abuse don’t make it. You are definitely one exception to the rule. I learned something from your book. Not to assume or judge those who suffered from past abuse. Anyway I needed to hear an answer and you provided one. Thank you.


Dear Brice,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I can understand you wanting to kill those who hurt me, at times I felt this way, too. But what would’ve happened to me? I’d be imprisoned for what I’d done, not my abusers for what they had done. I chose to live rather than destroy my life: something, my abusers never thought possible.

I suppose victims of child abuse could turn out to be drug addicts, murderers, or misfits of society. I was fortunate to develop the coping mechanism of dissociation, but everyone that suffers abuse must cope as best they can and in their own way. I was fortunate to develop a strong desire to do good and not hurt anyone. I survived because as a child I formed alternate personalities to help me get through the abuse I suffered until I was able to seek help for myself as an adult. Some victims of abuse may be stronger than others, but all of us hurt. I was lucky to have received the help I needed to keep me from destroying my life. Not only did my alters keep me safe, Dr. Baer was there to always help me stay on the side of reality.



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