Karen Answers Jonathan

Comment by Jonathan Meltzer on September 18, 2008 3:14 pm

Karen,

This book and your story are incredible. Thank you so much for answering questions like this. I have a follow-up question. I’m sorry if you answered it somewhere else already. You had 2 children who grew up in a very interesting household. The book doesn’t spend much time describing your children’s lives as you went through 18 years of your therapy. How did the changes that you went through in combination with an abusive father impact them? How did their lives turn out? How were you able to help them cope? Have they read the book? Thanks.

Jonathan

Dear Jonathan,

Thank you for your compliments and for asking this question. Yes, I have two children who are grown and are doing their best to live their lives. After serving in the military, my son is home now working and trying to make his own way. My daughter is working and a full time college student studying Criminal Justice. Although they each have gone through more than most, I believe they have turned out well despite my illness and their fathers’s alcholism. Neither of my children has turned to alcohol or drugs and this has made me very happy. Of course, we all have our moments, but I believe it’s the same as with all children who to strive to be independent.

During my many years of therapy, my children didn’t notice much change beside the fact that I may have been tired and suffered from many headaches. My sessions were carefully placed during their school day. They only knew of Dr. Baer by name, that he took care of me, and was helping me to feel good after being sick. With help from my alters, I was involved in all of their activities, such as being a soccer mom, baseball mom, theatre, and more. I volunteered in every area of their lives so that they each would have the best mom I could be. This also was an important part of my healing. Being involved with them kept my spirits up. Besides a bit of stubborness, they are great kids.

My daughter has read the book and has told me she’s had no ill effects from her childhood, and she supports and respects my decision to share my story. She’s amazed that I protected them from this part of my life and has told me that I was a great mom. My son hasn’t read the book yet, and I told him to wait until he’s ready. And if he never reads it, that’s okay with me. It’s not an easy book to read, especially for a son. I talked with him about my past, and he understands that I was a victim of child sexual abuse and used dissociation to heal.

Thank you for caring about my children,

Karen

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