Karen Answers Regina

Comment by Regina on September 26, 2008 8:13 pm

Hi Karen,

What do you think happened to the cult your father and grandfather formed? Where are these people now? Do you think the other children were other children or your child alters? Is it possible you survived because you were compliant? What do you think would of happened to you if you screamed? Why didn’t you scream?

Switching Time is a book that kept me wondering about all children. Definitely worth reading. I came to a realization that any child could suffer if adults don’t watch out for the signs. This book makes you alert to abuse. An important read.

Regina

Dear Regina,

My father and grandfather didn’t really form their own cult. Their immaturity couldn’t manage something as organized as a cult. What they did do was draw information about cult like acitivities and use them on me. This didn’t last all through my childhood, but was merely part of one year when they decided to experiment in these activities. The other adults involved were friends and aquaintances of my father and grandfather. Most were their employees who, while being abusers themselves, were afraid of being terminated from their jobs if they didn’t follow orders. Sad but true. I was informed about this when I was a teenager by one of the abusers himself. To my knowledge, I believe all my abusers are dead.

I believe I did survive because I was compliant. I feared that if I weren’t, my brothers would’ve been abused in front of me. That’s what I was told. This is how my abusers constantly threatened me. If I would’ve screamed, I was told I’d be killed or injured more harshly. I didn’t scream because I was a child, dissociated, and afraid.

I know there were at least a couple of boys who were also abused with me, but it’s hazy, and it’s hard for me to differentiate whether the other children were real children or my alters. Perhaps some of both?

Thank you for your compliments and for recognizing the importance of sharing my story. It is my hope all adults understand what can happen to any child. There are signs; and all adults need to be made aware of them.

Thank you your thoughts and questions,

Karen

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