Karen Answers Justin MD

Comment by Justin, MD on October 6, 2008 3:10 pm

Have you forgiven your father, grandfather, husband, those who have abused you, ignored you, and didn’t intervene to help you and your mother? Please elaborate? Would you say your abusers fit into the same mold of dysfunction? If you were to describe each of them with a diagnosable mental illness which illness would you label them under? I know you claim not to be a therapist. I am interested in your gut instinct years after being abused and now that you’ve grown to heal yourself. I am a resident on a psych. unit and am interested in learning more about how your mind resolved your pain and how you are able to move on?

Thank you,
Justin, MD

Dear Justin, MD,

Have I forgiven those who have abused, ignored, and not intervened to help me? Yes, to a degree, but I have not forgotten what they have done. I have faith they’ve received their own justice. Holding onto the pain my abusers once inflicted would mean they have continued to be emotionally destructive from their graves. I don’t want to give them that power. My abusers are gone now, and I need to let go of the hurt they caused in order to live, breathe, and feel a sense of accomplishment. I did survive.

As you know, I am not a therapist. However, if I had to guess, I would describe most of my abusers as narcissistic, sexually preoccupied sociopaths. My gut instinct? I would describe them as insecure, pathetic manipulators who stole an innocent child’s will to live, as some call them–soul murderers. I’m not sure whether my mind has ever fully recovered from my past child abuse. I believe to have resolved most major issues that have weighed me down and continue to work hard to resolve what remains. I try my best not to live in the past.

Thank you for your questions. I hope you can help someone like me as you pursue your profession.

Karen

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