Karen answers Lois

Comment by Lois on November 6, 2008 4:30 am

Karen,

Please explain more about the gray rooms. Why was everything gray? How did your alter Jensen change this color and why? When you see the color gray nowadays what comes to your mind? The section in the book on this color changing experience fascinates me.

Lois

Dear Lois,

The gray rooms came to be because after the war there was an excess of battleship gray paint left over from painting planes and ships.  My grandfather had access to this leftover gray paint, and painted just about every utility room, garage, stairway, shed, and porches in his home, my home, and many other homes in the neighborhood.  Most of the rooms I was abused in were painted this gray. The factory, garage, shandy, little room, and other areas described in my story were painted gray. I don’t believe this was deliberate, it was just the cheapest paint my grandfather could find.

My alter, Jensen, was an artist by nature, and couldn’t stand the thought of this depressing gray atmosphere.  Jensen’s decided to change all the gray areas of abuse into colors of the rainbow.  I’m not sure, but I believe this was his way of trying to lessen my trauma by distracting my mind into a less traumatic environment.

Whenever I see the color gray these days, I simply see the color gray.  When I am enclosed in a room that happens to be painted gray, some memories are triggered for a few moments until I am able to adjust my thoughts and bring myself back to the reality of the moment. There are always triggers for my past abuse, and each time some memory is triggered, I need to deal with it as quickly as possible. Most of the time these thoughts pass within a few minutes, and leave no ill effects. There seems to be no sure way to completely eliminate these painful memories of the past.

Karen

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