Karen answers Lynda

Comment by Lynda on November 13, 2008 2:04 pm

Hi Karen,

I have been diagnosed with DID and have three small children. My days are filled as you may predict. I try to set aside private time when my children are in school. This has worked in someway. My husband berates me every night when things don’t get done. I can’t do all and can’t explain why. I feel very worn. Is it worth even trying? The book gave me hope. I wish you could see all I’ve done after reading it. I am now on my own road to getting well. Thank you for sharing.

Lynda

Dear Lynda,

I can empathize with you. Having young children who require you to give them the attention they deserve is hard for anyone, especially for someone trying to heal from the past.  I tried to function as a Mom when I needed to be, a wife when I needed to be, and then deal with myself and my alters when I was alone.

I rarely shared the details of my struggle with my husband.  I know that as a married couple this may not have been the appropriate thing to do, but I chose not to.  My husband sometimes used my confidences against me.  But if I could change anything, I would’ve included my husband more.  I thought I was protecting him from me, or maybe I was protecting me from him.  But I ended up enraging him anyway.  I got the name-calling, being berated, losing trust, and then finally the physical abuse.

My alters were born to keep me functioning as normal as possible.  I always seemed to be busy, yet not much was accomplished some days.  I never could get my husband to comprehend how my days were spent.  How could I, when my days were removed from my own awareness?  I felt worn out, too. This all can really put a strain on one’s marriage.

Please don’t give up; healing from DID is worth it!  I am glad to hear that Switching Time has given you hope and has helped encourage your own healing and journey.  Sounds to me like you are on the right road to recovery.

I send you all my best wishes,

Karen

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