Karen answers Another Strong Woman

Comment by Another Strong Woman on November 24, 2008 8:50 pm

Dear Karen, and Jasmine,

Great sound advice for Jasmine and all of us women who were abused! You are so kind to share the personal faults and mistakes you made, to help abused women like us. No woman needs to take abuse. There are no this is a man’s world” reasons these days. Women are equal and should never allow a man to intimidate them. I happened to have been abused by a boyfriend many years ago until one day I said NO MORE and ended the relationship. I would be abused by him, go through an interlude, and back to being abused again. I have never allowed this to happen again.

Karen, I continue to read your blog at least once a week. Your story was phenomenal! The book was excellent. I admire you and Richard for writing this book and blog.

Jasmine, run away from the idiot, go quickly before the holidays draw you into believing your in love. Abuse is not love. How dare your boyfriend hit you because you were sick and didn’t make dinner! What an idiot! Lose him!

Another Strong Woman

Dear Strong Woman,

Thank you. It’s important for me to share my faults and mistakes as well as my successes, in hope that we, as women, learn to better help ourselves against the possibility of being abused. You are right, a woman should never take abuse at the hands of a man nor allow herself to feel intimidated. The world is not a “man’s world;” it’s a world that needs more knowledge on how abuse can affect a woman, a world where each of us is respected for who we are and not what gender we are.

Abuse can happen both ways. There are men who have suffered from being abused by a woman. No matter how you look at this, abuse is abuse, and each partner is equally responsible for controlling his or her anger. When one partner hurts the other, there is no respect or equality in the relationship.

I am glad to hear you ended your abusive relationship and decided to take no more. I can empathize with the cycle of abuse you describe while suffering at the hands of your boyfriend. I, too, went through a similar experience. I would be abused, then treated nice for a while, only to be abused again and again. It was a vicious cycle that didn’t end until our divorce. I believe you are a strong woman. I’m inspired by you leaving your previous boyfriend and not tolerating abuse from anyone.

Thank you for all your compliments! Dr. Baer and I appreciate that you visit our blog regularly. It’s important for me to answer all questions. I hope I’ve been helpful for you. I’m not perfect, but there are parts of me I believe make me an incredibly strong woman.

Thank you for your comment to Jasmine. I will post your comment along with my answer.

Karen

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