Karen answers Name not necessary

Comment by Name not nescessary on January 31, 2009 4:28 pm

Dear Karen,

I have DID and two of my alters are causing me problems, seven are okay with therapy , one doesn’t like our therapist and the other one left a poem titled—— How to get rid of your therapist without killing him. I have a appointment in two weeks. Did any of your alters dislike and want to hurt your therapist? What would you do? Should I call and talk to him before our next appointment? I like my therapist. I am afraid of what could happen. Did any of your alters physically attack your therapist? Is a poem a threat? The poem read in a way for us to accuse our therapist to get him in trouble so that he’ll never counsel again, like falsely accuse him of something. I won’t share the poem.

Name not necessary

Dear Name not necessary,

I can understand why you chose anonymity.  Sounds to me as if some of your alters are becoming agitated with the way therapy is going. There could be jealousy brewing with one or two alters needing more attention than the others. I have been there myself.

I am not a professional therapist and can’t give advice, but in my opinion, I believe you need to discuss this poem and your thoughts with your therapist as soon as possible. I appreciate that you have shared your dilemma with me, but this is a serious issue and part of your own personal journey.  Each case is unique and needs to be treated so.

During the early years of my therapeutic relationship with Dr. Baer, there were many angry moments of a few of my alters disliking him.  In my case, Dr. Baer was new to me, there were many misunderstandings since I only gave him incomplete information initially, and he was viewed as a possible threat to our system of survival.  A system that once needed no one else before it crashed.  Anyone threatening to come between me and my alters was seen as unwelcome, would cause alter chaos, and any sense of calm would be lost.  It’s really hard to get all alters to be compliant, learn to trust, and accept the therapy for what it is. It’s hard work for you and for your therapist. Patience is a must. Being open and honest is, too! Please don’t accuse the therapist who is trying his best to help you.

For me, it took years of building trust and gaining strength for these angry feelings to lessen enough for me to start the real work of healing. I believe your alters are feeling lost and frightened. Maybe the poem is a cry for help by this alter? Maybe something is stirring up some horrible memories that are re-surfacing.  Whatever is troubling you and the alters needs to be addressed in a safe setting.  Please call your therapist!

My hope is your therapist can help you through this if you let him.  I wish you well and a continued safe journey.

Karen

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